Short answer?  Maybe. But mostly I think not.

The driver for not to talking to or engaging people in real life is our own selfishness (desires for our selves).  And, as I have said before, Social Media is an amplifier. Whatever it is you are or think or want to tell people about you…social media makes it “louder” than if you simply stood in your living room and said it out loud.

If you don’t want to put forth effort in relationships, Facebook will make that pretty evident.  You won’t “like” or “comment” on other peoples’ posts, but merely read or skim them and move on.  A spectator.  I am not shaming you.  I think it’s fine for you to be a spectator, if you want. Did Facebook make you this way or teach you it was “OK”? I don’t think so.  It’s something you decided you wanted and no one has given you a compelling enough reason to change that. And, that may never happen.

I have self interests, too. But did Facebook teach me to engage people using private message or mutual friendships?  Did it teach me that a good way to keep up with some distant or infrequent relationships is to stay connected in a meaningful way via social media?  No.  I decided it was a good tool for that, for me. I purposefully start and maintain relationships on social media.

I am a little tired of people blaming inanimate objects for their own decisions or the decisions of others.  IF we have a decay in the moral fiber of society, it’s unlikely that it’s Facebook’s fault.  It’s the fault of our social norms (amplified by social media) and our personal convictions.  It’s the fault of us collectively deciding we don’t need to teach critical thinking skills or social engagement and responsibility to our children – that it’s the “schools” job, maybe.

You.  You get to decide how you are going to be.  And if you are on social media it will become apparent to the world around you who you are.

NOTE: We all see the world through the lens or our own beliefs, experiences and desires… so it’s entirely possible for you to be misunderstood on social media.  Stay vigilant about your message, about revealing who you are in a way that is appropriately vulnerable to you.  Correct mistakes, mis-speaks and when you have changed your mind.  Amplify.

About bethkolar

Owner at Center-Fit Kettlebell Club and Midlife Fitness Crisis

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